From Trainer to Parent: The Attachment Science of Transforming Reactivity
by Dr Findy Wills BVSc (Hons I) MSc Clinical Animal Behaviour
What if one of the most powerful tools for helping your dog wasn't another training technique, but the relationship you already share? Emerging research suggests that how we care for our dogs may influence behaviour just as much as what we teach them. Discover how attachment and pet parenting shape emotional wellbeing, resilience, and everyday behaviour.
Traditionally, behaviour concerns in dogs have been conceptualised through learning, cognition, and training-based frameworks, with more complex cases interpreted through a pathological lens[1-3]. While these perspectives are essential, they tell only part of the story. We have long recognised that the human–dog connection provides the foundation for training and behaviour modification, yet the relationship itself has rarely been explored as an active therapeutic tool for behaviour change.
In developmental psychology, research has consistently showed that secure attachment is associated with better emotional regulation, greater resilience, and more adaptive behaviour, while insecure attachment is linked to an increased risk of psychopathology[4-6].
Emerging research on human–dog relationships suggests that dogs form attachment bonds with their caregivers that are remarkably similar to parent–child attachments[7-9] and the quality of the caregiver–dog relationship has been found to play an important role in shaping behavioural and emotional outcomes[10-13].
The implication is significant: behaviour in dogs is not simply a product of training or learning. It develops within the context of the caregiver–dog relationship, making the bond both a foundation for behavioural development and a powerful influence on behaviour change.
If carer-dog relationships can influence behaviour, the question then becomes: How do we harness the power of the relationship to influence behaviour? The fields of attachment science and pet parenting are beginning to provide the answer.
A dog's behaviour is not just a product of commands or mechanical training—it is actively shaped by the emotional security of the relationship they share with you.
History of attachment science in human-dog relationships
To appreciate why relationships matter for behaviour change in dogs, we must first understand it from the perspective of attachment science. At the heart of this field lies attachment theory—a ground-breaking theory by John Bowlby in 1969[14] that transformed our understanding of child development and is now reshaping how we understand and support behaviour in dogs.
Attachment is defined as an affectional bond with the added experience of security and comfort obtained from the relationship[14, 15]. A dependable primary caregiver creates a secure base for the child to explore the world and return to when feeling insecure and it is the caregiver’s response to an infant’s need allow the child to develop a sense of security[14, 16].
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| Just like human infants, puppies rely heavily on a primary caregiver to serve as their "secure base" while they learn to navigate and process the wider world. |
Attachment styles were developed within attachment theory to describe the patterns of attachment between a child and his/her mother[14, 15]. Four different attachment styles have been described among children: secure, insecure-avoidant, insecure-ambivalent and insecure-disorganised. These attachment styles were found to influence relational expectations, emotions, and behaviours of the child in adulthood[4-6, 14, 15, 17].
Given the depth of human-dog bonds[18], human-dog scientists started to observe that dogs exhibit attachment behaviour towards humans[7], and subsequent research concluded that the owner-dog relationship closely resembles that of the human caregiver-infant relationship[7, 10, 17, 19]. As such, attachment style testing for dogs has recently been developed and validated to provide attachment style information for individual dogs[7, 8, 19]. The same four attachment styles in children have been readily observed in dogs through this validated testing[8, 11-13].
This transforms how we think about behaviour in dogs. This finding implies that everything we have in development psychology on secure attachment and behaviour influence can potentially be applied to our relationships with our dogs with very similar outcomes. If attachment security influences emotional regulation, resilience, and behavioural outcomes in children, then strengthening the caregiver–dog relationship may represent one of the most powerful and underutilised tools for influencing behaviour in dogs.
Perhaps even more excitingly, this knowledge provides a practical and familiar roadmap for behaviour change, allowing us to draw upon decades of evidence-based parenting research while leveraging concepts that many caregivers already intuitively understand, such as caregiving, parental responsibility, developmental expectations and how to learn to bond with your dog on a deeper level.
The Influence of Pet Parenting Style on Dog Attachment
While attachment theory tells us why secure relationships matter, the science of pet parenting helps explain how those relationships are built. Research in humans suggests that caregiving behaviours—particularly responsiveness, sensitivity, consistency, and expectations—play a critical role in shaping attachment security[20, 21]. Just as parenting style is one of the strongest predictors of secure attachment in children, pet parenting style appears to influence attachment security in dogs[22].
Research has identified three broad pet parenting styles in dog owners: authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive[22-24]. Authoritative pet parents combine high levels of responsiveness with clear guidance and expectations[22, 24, 25]. They are emotionally supportive while also providing structure and consistency. This approach aligns closely with nurturing your dog’s emotional needs as a core pillar of responsible guardianship.
Authoritarian pet parents place greater emphasis on obedience, control, and compliance, often prioritising rules over responsiveness to the dog's emotional needs[23, 24]. Permissive pet parents are highly accepting and affectionate but tend to provide fewer boundaries and less behavioural guidance[24, 25].
Authoritative pet parenting—combining high emotional warmth with clear, consistent boundaries—is the golden ticket to building a dog’s social adaptability and resilience.
Of these, authoritative pet parenting—characterised by high responsiveness alongside clear guidance and expectations—has been associated with secure attachment in dogs[22], suggesting that a combination of responsiveness, emotional support, and appropriate boundaries tend to create a relationship in which dogs feel safe and understood. Notably, dogs that were observed to be secure attached in this study were associated with greater social adaptability and improved problem-solving abilities[22].
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| Porthos (left) & Aramis enjoying a quiet decompression walk in Strickland State Forest. For a reactive, nervous dog like Porthos, nature trails where triggers can be avoided provided the emotional safety he needed to relax—a stark contrast to the stressful environment of suburban streets. |
Fostering Secure Relationships for Behaviour Change
Not only are these findings changing the way we think about behaviour, but they also offer caregivers a practical way to influence their dog’s behaviour through their own actions. If relationships shape behaviour, then small changes in how we respond to and support our dogs can create profound shifts in how they experience and ultimately choose to navigate the world around them.
One case that comes to mind is Ziggy*, a dog who reacted intensely whenever she saw another dog. Whether on walks, in the car, or even hearing dogs bark from inside the home, Ziggy would lunge, bark, and struggle to cope. The behaviour escalated to the point that car travel became dangerous and outings that Margaret* and Ziggy once seemingly enjoyed together felt increasingly unmanageable.
Initially, the case sounded complex and challenging, but as Margaret, Ziggy's caregiver, and I explored Ziggy's history over several sessions, a different picture emerged. Ziggy could tolerate other dogs, but years of overwhelming experiences at dog parks had taught her that her more socially appropriate communication often went unheard. Margaret also struggled to recognise Ziggy's earlier signs of discomfort, missing opportunities to help before Ziggy felt the need to escalate.
Over the following months, Margaret shifted her focus away from changing Ziggy's behaviour and towards changing how she responded to Ziggy. She learned to recognise subtle signs of discomfort, acknowledge them, and act on them.
This proactive shift is essential for managing stress in reactive dogs. For example, when chatting with a neighbour whose dog Ziggy generally tolerated, Margaret began noticing Ziggy gently nudging her or looking away from the interaction. Rather than continuing the conversation, she would respond, "Sorry Zig, we went on a bit too long, didn't we?" before calmly moving on with her day.
Training skills such as emergency U-turns and engage-disengage exercises remained useful. However, the greatest shift came from Ziggy learning that her communication mattered and that Margaret would respond when she expressed discomfort.
Over the next four to six months, Ziggy's behaviour changed dramatically. Rather than lunging and barking, she began looking to Margaret, choosing to move away, and creating distance from other dogs herself. The need for escalation reduced because the relationship had changed.
Transforming reactivity doesn't always start with changing the dog; it starts with changing how we respond to them. When a dog learns their subtle worries are heard, the need to explode disappears.
This is not to suggest that every behaviour problem can be resolved through relationship-focused interventions alone. However, Ziggy's story illustrates the remarkable impact that a secure relationship can have.
Sometimes behaviour change does not have to begin with changing the dog, it can begin with changing how we show up as their caregivers.
As our understanding of attachment and pet parenting continue to grow, so too will the practical strategies caregivers can apply in everyday life. I look forward to sharing evidence-based approaches that can help foster secure relationships between you and your dog.
*The names of the dog and caregiver have been changed to maintain confidentiality.
About the author
Dr Findy Wills is a behaviour veterinarian, Clinical Animal Behaviourist, and PhD candidate who is passionate about changing the way we think about dog behaviour. Rather than focusing solely on training, her work explores the foundations beneath behaviour—the relationship between dogs and their caregivers.
She loves helping caregivers discover that they are often more powerful than they realise in influencing their dog's behaviour and wellbeing. Through attachment science, pet parenting, and behavioural medicine, she shows how the caregiver–dog relationship can become one of the most important therapeutic components in helping behaviourally challenged dogs.
Discover more about her work at Let's Talk Paws or follow her on Instagram @letstalkpaws.
